Life is like a heartbeat monitor. There are moments of highs and lows and in the process of living through it, we get caught up in the race of trying to be the best versions of ourselves, not giving ourselves even a minute to catch our breath. We get so engrossed in making the most of every second, that we fail to give ourselves time.
And how exactly do we give ourselves time? What do we do to care for ourselves?
WHAT IS SELF-CARE? WHY IS SELF-CARE IMPORTANT?
In simple words, self-care involves doing things that we enjoy once in a while, and intentionally so, that helps us keep ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally well in order to continue performing to the best of our abilities.
Self-care, to most people, in this day and age when accessing information is easy, might not be a new concept. Despite the awareness, we disregard this practice because we believe temporarily distracting ourselves from the issue would solve it. But is that the only reason why we avoid self-care?
There are several other reasons, such as having a bias (assuming we do not need to work on ourselves - “I have worked so hard to get here by myself, without taking a break, so why would I need it now?”), assuming putting ourselves first is an act of selfishness, not feeling like we deserve to take a break (not feeling worthy enough), feeling like we might lose out on time and sometimes it could be as simple as not giving our health and wellness importance. We don't know that the difficulties could actually send us into a vortex where we eventually drown because of the worry, tension, loss of confidence, and decreased efficiency they produce. In essence, self-care makes us more resilient to the circumstance. A self-care plan is like a solid pillar that increases one’s self-worth.
The first step is to understand that self-care is an intentional practice that is done even in the absence of distress. It is a proactive simple practice that one engages in to nourish themselves. This in turn helps in understanding oneself and realising that we need to be gentle with ourselves, be less critical of ourselves, and be less guilty when we pamper ourselves. The next phase is to consider what makes us joyful, what makes us feel whole, and what can help us lower the hidden stress.
DE-STRESSING VS. SELF-CARE
We must be aware that while stress and mental health are inextricably linked, de-stressing is just learning how to deal with the stress. De-stressing or coping is more reactive in nature or temporary, and since we cannot always change a situation, we make do with what we have. Eg, when we are stressed about exams, we watch shows or read a book to cope with the stress. Self-care, however, encompasses more. It is preventive in nature and is a lifelong habit that one can develop in order to function holistically. It involves engaging in activities that one likes and that, in turn, helps one avoid stressful situations or deal with it better. Eg, walking 15 minutes every day to rejuvenate is a part of self-care.
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There are several forms in which we can take care of ourselves. Let's take a look at a few of them!
WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF SELF-CARE?
PHYSICAL - Giving your body the exercise, diet, hygiene, and relaxation it needs to operate properly is a form of physical self-care. Eg, walking 15 mins every day or meditating to rejuvenate.
ENVIRONMENTAL - The area around you matters. The quality of your life may be significantly improved by taking the effort to alter your immediate surroundings. Eg, giving time to your external surroundings, be it at home or work - keeping your desk clean or doing household chores.
SOCIAL - Whether they be friends, family, or coworkers, support systems are crucial for people to feel secure and content. Eg, spending time with your loved ones - going for a movie or for dinner can make one feel better.
EMOTIONAL - Learning to affirm yourself and raising your emotional awareness can help you develop your emotional intelligence (EQ). Eg, Learning to handle situations in a more mature manner and not immediately react - keeping yourself calm and composed.
MENTAL - The mind needs to regularly engage in stress reduction, mindfulness, and learn to handle situations in a better manner.
SELF-CARE IS FREQUENTLY MISTAKEN FOR SELFISHNESS
Sometimes people do not prioritise themselves because they might feel they are being selfish. You cannot drink from an empty cup or drive a car with no gas. It is a necessity to fill up the car with gas for it to be able to run smoothly. Similarly, it is necessary for us to look after ourselves now and then to be able to hold a steady graph and not come crashing down. We are not selfish if we choose to prioritise ourselves at times. On the other hand, being self-centred revolves around the concept of “ME” or “I” which implies that everything revolves around you and how much you can gain for yourself (sometimes at the cost of others). For instance, self-care is obtaining enough sleep and rest at night, whereas selfishness entails sleeping for lengthy periods of time in order to escape obligations.
BENEFITS OF PRIORITISING SELF-CARE
IMPROVES MENTAL HEALTH - it helps keep the mind at ease and avoid unnecessary/negative thoughts.
ENHANCES RELATIONSHIPS - the happier and fitter you are, the easier it becomes to maintain good relationships with people.
IMPROVES PHYSICAL HEALTH - when we give our body what it requires in the right amounts and at the right time (whether it involves walking 20 mins a day or sleeping for 8 hours), we tend to be healthier.
REDUCES STRESS - when we are unable to perform to our best, we do things that we enjoy, like reading a book or sketching which helps reduce stress.
INCREASES SELF-ESTEEM - when we start treating ourselves with more empathy and kindness, we tend to feel better about ourselves and our capabilities.
HOW CAN ONE PRIORITISE SELF-CARE?
Self-care looks different for every individual. What one might feel is relaxing and stress-free may not feel the same way for the other. So, how would one know what a self-care routine looks like or how it should be prioritised?
Through the trial and error method, an individual will eventually be able to figure out what works best for him/her. And what one must realise is that it should be that part of the day or a week and something that they really look forward to and does, not seeing it as a burden or something to check off the list.
Taking baby steps to start a routine would be of great help! For instance, reading three or four pages of a book every night before sleeping is a way of having time for yourself.
Building a self-care plan or routine by making a list of things that one enjoys doing is one of the first things a person can do. They can then see how it fits into a part of their daily schedule. To make engaging in the activity a sustainable process, an individual can partake in activities that are easy to do and also require basic resources. For instance, it might not always be necessary to go to a spa but instead, a hot shower can do the trick on most days! Self-care means that you realise your needs, pay attention to them, and allow yourself the space and time you need to recover and advance.
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