Self-Care in Relationships

Sometimes we may find ourselves burnt out in our relationships. That feeling of detachment can make one feel emotionally exhausted or "stuck in a loop" with a person. This feeling may even put you to question your relationship. Alternatively, you may feel like you are "nothing" without your partner and may prioritise their needs and desires above your own, neglecting your own well-being in the process.

These are completely valid feelings that may come up. As adults, we may have been taught that expressing our needs is selfish, but not setting healthy boundaries can lead to unhealthy relationships characterised by resentment, manipulation, and abuse. Therefore, setting boundaries is an act of self-care that empowers us to prioritise our well-being and maintain healthy, respectful connections with others.

The blog invites you to reflect on why these thoughts and feelings may be coming up.

Why is self-care important in relationships?

Self-care is an important aspect of maintaining a healthy relationship. It refers to taking care of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being, which better equips you to support and nurture your relationships.

A healthy relationship is one where you feel loved, confident and comfortable with yourself. Healthy relationships are characterised by mutual respect, effective communication, trust, support, and equality. In a healthy relationship, both individuals have a sense of autonomy and maintain their own identities while also fostering a strong connection. Conflict is addressed openly and constructively, and both partners strive for compromise and understanding. Each person's needs, boundaries, and feelings are acknowledged and respected.

On the other hand, unhealthy relationships are marked by patterns of disrespect, poor communication, control, and imbalance of power. In an unhealthy relationship, one or both partners may engage in behaviours such as manipulation, criticism, and belittlement. Trust may be eroded, and there may be a lack of support or emotional validation. Boundaries may be disregarded or violated, and conflicts may escalate into unhealthy dynamics or even abuse.

It is important to note that unhealthy relationships can exist in various forms, including romantic partnerships, friendships, or family relationships. Recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship is crucial to protect one's well-being and seek support if needed.

Identifying the green flags and red flags of current relationships can help address unhelpful behaviours in a relationship, based on what is currently working/or not working in your relationship.

How can self-care help in achieving a healthier relationship?

1. Self care allows individuals to maintain their physical, emotional, and mental well-being, which in turn can positively impact the relationship.

2. Practising self-care helps to reduce stress, manage emotions, and promote overall health and happiness.

3. When individuals take care of themselves, they are better equipped to be present, attentive, and supportive to their partner.
   

4. Self-care can also prevent burnout, in which feelings of irritation or apathy may come up which can damage or even end a relationship.

5. By practising self-care, individuals can ensure they are bringing their best selves to the relationship, which can lead to stronger and more fulfilling connections.

Clearly, self-care has many benefits towards maintaining healthy relationships.

Some ways to practise self-care in a relationship

1. Make time for physical activity, eat healthy, get enough sleep and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation by honouring your needs and interests.

2. Communicate openly and honestly: Share your feelings, thoughts and needs with your partner and make sure you listen to each other. It is important to make your expectations clear rather than assuming people will figure them out.

3. Establish boundaries: Setting boundaries is an essential aspect of self-care in relationships. It requires self-awareness and clear communication skills to establish what we are comfortable with and to assertively express our needs and expectations. There are also different boundaries in a relationship that can be considered while reflecting on your connections with people.

4. Pursue your own passions and hobbies outside of the relationship and encourage your partner to do the same.

5. Check in with yourself regularly and reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions in the relationship.

6. Treat your partner with kindness, respect, and love, and avoid behaviours or words that are hurtful or harmful.

Remember that self-care is an ongoing process and requires effort and dedication. By prioritising self-care, individuals can build stronger, more resilient relationships and foster overall well-being.

Conclusion

Practising self-care in a relationship can help maintain a healthy and happy relationship by nurturing your own well-being and maintaining good mental health. When we prioritise our own well-being and engage in self-care, we are better equipped to contribute positively to the relationship. Self-care provides an opportunity for self-reflection, introspection, and personal growth, which ultimately benefits the dynamics of the relationship. When we prioritise our mental health through self-care, we are better able to communicate our needs, set boundaries, and express ourselves authentically. This fosters healthier and more fulfilling connections with our partners, as we bring a sense of self-assuredness, happiness, and emotional resilience to the relationship. Ultimately, self-care in relationships is vital for maintaining a strong foundation of mental well-being and promoting a healthier partnership.