takes a bubble bath, buys scented candles, puts on a face mask. This is going to fix everything.
It’s the 21st century, and almost all the billionaires, celebrities, corporations, your workplace, social media influencers and flourishing “gurus” have become strong advocates of ‘self-care.’Advertisements convince us that we need to buy the latest products, subscribe to various services, and embrace lavish experiences to attain true self-care. This commodification creates a sense of inadequacy and perpetuates the idea that self-care is something to be purchased, rather than an innate right or practice. It has become a privilege, a commodity and a multi-billion industry with its foundation rooted in class divide.
College life is often portrayed as a period of exciting opportunities and personal growth. However, the reality for many college students is that it can be a challenging and demanding time. Balancing academic responsibilities, social commitments, and personal well-being can leave little room for self-care. Being a student, I’ve almost always snapped at anyone who preached self-care to me. I finally decided to sit down with this frustration and understand why it felt that way to me? Firstly, self-care is difficult. It’s like adding another thing to my already 10-items-to-do-list. Secondly, I found the idea of self-care too isolating. Self-reliance didn’t help me at the end of the day, what helped was having somebody who had my back.
With the rise of consumer culture, self-care gradually underwent a transformation, becoming entangled with capitalism's profit-driven motives. Advertisers and corporations saw an opportunity to monetize self-care by selling products and services under the guise of self-improvement. Face masks, bath bombs, and luxury retreats became symbols of self-care, creating a market driven by consumerism rather than genuine well-being. The commercialisation and commodification of self-care have inadvertently distorted its true meaning and turned it into yet another product to be bought and sold. Self-care practices have become limited to consuming certain products and expensive transactions. In societies when there is already more focus on individualistic lifestyles and self-centredness, we are slowly drifting apart from community healing.
Audre Lorde, a Black, disabled, queer, activist and feminist redefined self-care while battling for cancer. Throughout her life, Lorde confronted numerous challenges, including a transformative battle with cancer. In her writings and speeches, she eloquently articulated the importance of self-care as a radical act of survival and resistance. For Audre Lorde, self-care was not a luxury but a necessity. She understood that caring for oneself was an act of resilience and resistance, particularly for marginalised individuals facing multiple intersecting oppressions.
Lorde encouraged individuals to embrace vulnerability and engage in self-reflection as part of their self-care journey. She believed that understanding one's emotions, fears, and limitations was essential for personal growth and healing. She realised that there is too much emphasis on maximising our ‘productivity’ but sometimes it is necessary to give in and slow down from these oppressive systems that shape us. Lorde advocated for creating communities that uplifted and nurtured each other, where radical care could be practiced. For her, self-care was about building solidarity and resisting the isolating effects of illness and oppression.
While self-care benefits can only benefit us for a temporary relief, the larger focus needs to be on celebrating communities and understanding how we are interdependent on each other. Not in a way that limits us, but to rather have comfortable spaces where we value each other for how we are, not for what we can offer. It is true that self-care, at its core, involves nurturing one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. However, it is essential to recognise that our well-being is intricately connected to the well-being of others in our communities. We exist within a web of relationships, and our actions and energies can have a ripple effect on those around us. By acknowledging our interdependence, we understand that caring for ourselves is not separate from caring for our communities. Self-care is not just about self-indulgence; it involves cultivating empathy and compassion for oneself and others.
It is also time for us to question how the system fails self-care practices? It expects us to constantly be on our toes by ingraining the idea that we are worthy only if we are a part of the hustle culture and if we struggle. The feelings of “running out of time” and that “we’re not doing enough” are harmful. They are dangerous and convince us that there’s something wrong within us that needs to be “fixed.”
The concept of self-care, which originated as a radical act of personal empowerment, has been co-opted by capitalism, transforming it into a market-driven phenomenon. However, by deconstructing the influence of capitalism and embracing a more holistic approach to well-being, we can reclaim self-care's true essence. By prioritising intentional self-care practices and working collectively towards social change, we can foster a society where the principles of self-care are accessible, inclusive, and empowering for everyone. Self-care, when deeply rooted in community healing, becomes a transformative force that nourishes both individuals and the collective. By recognising our interdependence, cultivating empathy, challenging oppressive systems, and sharing resources, communities can harness the power of self-care to heal, build resilience, and promote social justice. Thus it is time to redefine self-care that is practiced with self-awareness, along with community support to help us ground ourselves to exist meaningfully and work on building our relationships.
Life is not always meant to be an endless prioritisation of our own comfort - if it was, we might never get anywhere ever.
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