You may have heard someone exclaim, “you should go to therapy” or “you need therapy” at someone as an insult. Since the idea of therapy has been associated so closely with the idea of "brokenness" and "abnormality," you may have even unknowingly agreed with the person. The sad truth is that the existing stigma around mental health contributes to the fear of help-seeking, which obscures the true intent of therapy. Although conversations about mental health have started being included in educational institutions, how much do we know? We can begin by clarifying what we mean by mental health and therapy.
Mental health refers to a state of well-being in which every individual realises their potential, can cope with normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to their community (World Health Organisation).
In other words, mental health is:
Important for everyone (regardless of sexual orientation, gender, caste, class, age, etc.)
Part of being human
Linked to overall well-being
Worth looking after
Existing on a continuum based on severity of problem
Helpful in everyday living
Mental health isn't:
A sign of weakness
Something to be ashamed for
All in your mind
The same as mental illness
Something that only affects a particular kind of person
Our mental health is a standard level of cognitive-emotional functioning and is influenced by our understanding of and ability to manage our stressors. Therapy is a great tool to guide us with the same, and is actually quite different from oversharing on twitter.
Therapy or psychotherapy is a tool that can assist one in addressing various mental health or relationship challenges that may arise at any stage of life. It is a technique or set of techniques used to heal or strengthen the capacity to manage one's life and everyday stresses and enhance your relationship with yourself and others.
Talking to a therapist for professional assistance can help you better understand and manage your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It can be a non-judgemental environment where you can feel encouraged, understood, and connected as you work on yourself.
Indeed, it is problematic to use needing therapy as an insult. The statement further discourages someone who might actually benefit from therapy. By associating help-seeking with a derogatory remark, it further stigmatises mental health as the person starts believing it to be a negative thing to seek therapy, rather than as a healthy action that they might take for their well-being.
Finally, telling someone that they may need therapy as an insult ends conversations rather than starting them. It alludes that the person should feel ashamed for needing therapy, promoting misconceptions about mental health. As a result, the mindset that such issues should be kept to oneself and covered up for fear of what others may think or say spreads. Everyone faces mental health struggles from time to time, and therapy is one medium to work on them.
How to know if you need to go to therapy
If you or someone you know is unsure of whether they require help and support, they can be on the lookout for warning signs such as sleeplessness, changes in appetite, fatigue, loss of interest in most or all formerly enjoyable activities, sadness, worthlessness, loneliness, negative thoughts, irritability, and frequent outbursts of anger. Finding a therapist is much simpler once we are clear on what we need in terms of the type of support we want.
Some other common reasons to start therapy:
You have shifted to a new city and might be finding it uncomfortable to settle into the new environment.
You are in the middle of a major life transition that may be overwhelming you.
You are finding it hard to strike a balance between your work and life.
You want to work on improving your relationships.
You are feeling disconnected from your surroundings and want to do something about it.
You do not want to feel overly anxious about something.
You don’t know how to process a traumatic event in your life.
You want to understand yourself better.
To sum it up, therapy is so much more than just talking about your issues; it may be a life-saving
tool for someone. It can be a safe-space to process your feelings, and may help someone who feels trapped, is dealing with challenges in their personal or professional life, or is struggling with or trying to better understand themselves. Rather than using “you need therapy” as an insult, we can initiate conversations that de-stigmatise mental health, and hopefully encourage someone to consider going for therapy in a positive light.
If you have any experiences or doubts about therapy, you can leave them in the comments below.
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